I started motherhood as a scared, naïve 17-year-old child. I was still in high school, and most of the people I equated as my friends seemed to turn a cold shoulder on me. Many things went through my head. How was I going to tell my parents? Was I going to be able to finish school? Was being a mom the only thing I had to look forward to? Would any guy ever want that kind of baggage?
I soon found out that along with the greatest amount of joy I have ever been privileged to encounter, came with it a responsibility I looked forward to. My daughter came into this world like a blinding light that has yet to go out. She was my reason for getting up in the morning-my reason to stay strong and continue heading forward.
The years went by as fast as lightning. I sometimes wonder where the days went. It seems like minutes ago that she said her first word and took her first steps. I can remember like it was yesterday, me crying outside her kindergarten class, looking in the window making sure she was okay and not wanting her to stay. She did stay, and she was fine. She did better than me that day. That first day of school led to first dates, first parties, first dances, and more rivers of tears for me!
In the blink of an eye, she had gotten her first job, and was now a part of the working world. As she got out of the car for her first day, she was no longer this beautiful young woman that I had raised, but instantly transported back to that first day of kindergarten letting go of my hand and running to her next step of life. I saw her as a little girl in ringlet curls. Again, I cried. Where did all the time go?
I have to take comfort, and trust in myself that I have given my daughter the tools she needs to survive this world. And that if I am doing my job as a parent the best way I know how, she will survive and be okay. Rationally, I know this. However, my heart is screaming inside me to never let her go.
I have come to the realization that life is just too damn short. Life is meant to be lived. Mistakes are waiting to be made, and lessons are waiting to be learned from those mistakes. I intend to drink up everything life has to offer and not take a single thing for granted ever again. My children are depending on me for that.
